Weekend Recovery

The meaning of the title is two-fold… I would much rather be detailing how the events of the weekend provided some much needed recovery. However, the events and the occurrences of the weekend from which I need to recover predominate my thoughts and occupy waaaaaay too much of my time and energy at this moment and also will necessitate a repetition of the same pattern for several days to come…

I would love to elaborate and give the details of my co-workers’ exploits and actions that are the reason I need recovery, but it simply pisses me off too fucking much to even begin the thought processes necessary to merge the actions of the three nurses who created this cluster-fuck on Saturday night into a single time-line. Let me sum it up by saying two things, when I even begin to think about it, the screaming headache returns in an instant. No, that is not exaggeration for the sake of literary license. That is a fact of truth. The second thing, I am awaiting the written report from the on duty physician and charge nurse from the local hospital’s Emergency Department that is being sent to the investigative unit of the county board of mental retardation in which they label my staff as “incompetent.”

Finally, it will be documented correctly on paper for everyone to see. Hallelujah!! Amen!! Thank you Jesus!!

As I have been prohibited by my superiors from using the “i” word in any of my written reports, corrective actions, retraining documents, I am overjoyed at the impending prospect of being able to see it in black and white and out there in plain sight for the people who need to see it to see it. This is a banner day in my quest to be able to finally make a sweeping change in who works on my shift, and more importantly, who is charged with taking care of my clients. More accurately phrased in my reality, who is entitled to be able to take care of my clients.

The other part of the title refers to how I spent my Saturday. All day Saturday after working all night on Friday. I had seen a memo posted that for the 25^th Anniversary Open House next month, the clients from our supported living division had decided to make a quilt to celebrate. Implements of construction, fabric, embellishments in hand, I headed to the corporate office for a day of block-making.

By the time 3pm rolled around, I was exhausted, fulfilled, and amazed. I had made several new friends, had finally gotten to put faces to names with some of our supported living staff, and was in awe of the creations that the clients had made. It was such a very cool thing to me to be able to see how they had incorporated the various “bits of stuff” into expressing their vision. It was truly the stuff that art is made of.

For now…. I’m off to re-write policy & procedure…..

NIN - Discipline (Official Video)

TFF

Sagas of Domestic Bliss, Tales of Angst, Hard Work Builds Character, and Other Woes of Life in the Wasteland

The pilot has activated the "No Smoking" and "Fasten Seatbelts" signs. Please extinguish all smoking materials, fasten your seatbelts, and return your tray tables to their upright and locked position. Thank you.

And, thank you for indulging that gratuitous flash-back moment.

Spring has finally arrived in the greater central Ohio region. Along with it, the blossoming of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in my front yard. It has sent me running for routine and supplemental allergy medications and breathing aids. In the vernacular, it would be known as a cherry tree. In my world, it is a blessing and a curse, thus the allusion.

The fresh cherries plucked feet from the front porch come July are wonderful things. The blossoms in early spring are one of the things in this life to which I am most allergic. Last spring brought a late frost which caused most of the blossoms to fall. The few cherries last summer were left as food for the birds. The respite from the blossoms was a blessing, but the sight of those few elusive fruits on the tree was disheartening. Last week, the tree erupted into full bloom and I was well into an episode of bronchitis by Saturday. There was a potential for a frost as well last week, and some of the less densely packed urban areas did show frost. The moral quandary of the seasonal destiny of that tree was at hand...

The reality of the life-span of both blossoms and ripe cherries was pondered. In the end, though in great physical distress, I decided that I would rather have cherries to share with neighbors, birds, grandchildren, and anonymous passersby... I'm such a putz.

Routine vehicle maintenance was the order of the day for yesterday. The ensuing problems were more than to be expected and proved to be more than merely frustrating and expensive. The day ended with me exhausted and a migraine screaming in my head when I finally collapsed into bed at 8:30 last night.

I picked up my phone, meaning to leave a voice mail for that man who puts up with me. He answered instead. Knowing he was still at work, I mumbled something about just having gotten to bed and to call me when he got off. He complied about 30 minutes later, waking me from the sleep of the dead. I rambled some incoherent things in apology for being about to cancel our time together last night. "So you're not coming then?" "No. I'm really sorry."

There was a bit more rambling in there on my part, but I cannot remember how much or what was said. It bothered me greatly to be too exhausted and too ill to spend time with him. Our time together is too rare these days. It bothered me so much that at some point I dreamed that he told me he no longer loved me and was breaking up with me in order to be with one of the nurses and one of the staff. I cannot remember who the staff was, but the nurse is engaged to an pregnant by her long-time and long-intended future husband. It also distressed me to the point that I remember in my dream trying to strangle the other women. I also attempted to dispose of them in other unremembered ways. I cannot remember what I attempted to inflict upon him. At some point, a past residence, now completely remodeled and with several additions as to be chateau-like appeared in that or some other completely unremembered dream.

I phoned him this morning to apologize coherently and told him of the dream brought about my exhausted and distressed state of being.

~~~~ unfinished but posted anyway~~~~