Can't Sleep... again

I really should be sleeping. I thought my medication was well on its way to making me drowsy, but that was not to be the case.

Here it is past 1:30am, and I am still wide awake.

It has been very cool during the nights. Down into the 40s and lower 50s. Nice for sleeping well, but it has the house a bit too cold for my liking. I'm not ready to submit and turn on the furnace. I have opted to break out the ceramic space heater.

I have the cat in my lap as I type this. She is not insistent on grooming me. No one is clean enough for Miss Piggy. She will even groom the dog. Heaven forbid if you attempt to pick up this cat. Touching her with your unwashed self will merit an intense grooming. It would seem that I spoke too soon. She has found fault with the condition of my left forearm and is seeking to remedy my uncleanliness. Weird damn cat!

I am sort of liking this contingent work schedule. I go in for a few hours but don't have the responsibilities and the headaches of all of the paperwork and reports and meetings. I cannot, however, live on what money I'm being paid. Finding something in the next couple of weeks is imperative. Even if it ends up being admin work through the temp service until I find something suitable. I'm not too proud to take a clerk job or something of that nature. You do what you have to do in order to pay the bills. I am not too keen at all about going back to waiting tables, but a hostess position would even do in the interim.

I'm seeming to do better with the Celexa at 40mg. I do feel more together, anyway. I suppose that is the first step. I'm seemingly not having all of the anxiety that I was having, but I'm still not managing to get as much done as I would like to be getting done. My thoughts are more together, though. I'm feeling like my "old self." That is a good thing because I really need to get back to work on my textile stuff. Christmas is nearly upon us, and I am seriously behind in seasonal merchandise. All merchandise, really. You can sell almost anything during the holiday season.

Before I start thinking too much about that subject, I think I'm going to close this here and try the bed. If I start thinking about everything that I should be doing/should have already had done, there will be no sleep for me until near dawn.

Things are things… just about to get ready to get ready for work. LOL Only in my world is there preparation for preparation…

In any case, the week has gone pretty well.

My grandchildren seem to have survived in spite of their death wish of last evening. I heard running and rolling in the upstairs hall and laughter and shouts. After about 90 minutes of that, I heard my daughter yell from downstairs about the lights being on.

I spent the other night with the guy. He remains adamant that I WILL NOT be helping him move. Decorating his new place does remain in my domain, and he has informed me that will more than likely be a full-time job in itself. LOL

We talked about the “R-word” the other night. You know the one I mean.

Relationship.

It was a good conversation. I am glad that we are both honest, know ourselves well, and understand and respect each other’s perspectives, goals, and interests. OK, well… He is still lost (and will probably always remain so) when it comes to that right-brained, artsy part of my soul.

School is the priority for him. For the next 15 months. He feels he doesn’t have time to invest in a relationship and is leery about having a relationship since the last one required 24/7 attention and maintenance and still fell apart anyway. From my perspective, school is his priority, and I have been single for so long, that I am used to having my space and my time being my own. I don’t want 24/7 attention and could not bring myself to be at someone else’s beck and call 24/7 at this point. I need time to adjust to being involved with someone.

Sounds like we’re on the same page. That’s a good thing.

As we haven’t seen each other for a couple of weeks, I was straightforward (As if you could imagine me EVER being straightforward. LMAO) enough to ask if it was me or the sex that he had missed. He could only give me a slightly uncomfortable laugh and smile. I told him he was a noncommittal diplomat, at which he did laugh. I then informed him that as he was not a citizen, he could not plead “The Fifth Amendment” as he was not covered under our constitutional protection. He burst into laughter and hugged me. “Hey, I call you,” was his response.

He sleeps like I do. On the edge of the bed, facing outward. No encroachment allowed. We had been talking for quite a while before we went to sleep, and I found that I had made my way over to be right next to him. I promised him that I would go away if he kissed me. LOL He volunteered some half-hearted peck, and I demanded a real kiss before retreating to my side of the bed. “Yes, I know, it’s time for sleep,” I said and added that once he was out of school in 15 months, we would be working on changing some of his routines. He laughed.

I like that I can make him laugh.

I also like the fact that I remain a quandary to him in some areas.

I like the fact that we can disagree yet respect each other’s opinions and points of view.

I like that I simply enjoy being in his presence.

I like that he has depth of soul, character, compassion, and intellect.

I like that he has that sublime yet incisive sense of humor.

I like the fact that, though we are very different in personality, we seem to harmonize well.

I like the fact that we are friends.

Back in from work…

The day went by pretty quickly. I escaped from working my usual assignment, and for that I was thankful. I really needed a break from those manipulative and lying women in one of my buildings. OMG! The two main pains in the ass are enough to piss off the pope most days. However, working another building meant that I didn’t get to see the guy. Which happened to be pretty OK by me. The “regulars” (aka the extraneous women who always seem to be hanging around in that particular apartment) were in full-on hang out mode today. I’m not the jealous type, but I surely wasn’t in the mood to deal with Helen being all over him today. That’s pretty much an all the time thing with her, so it generally doesn’t bother me. But, the weather has recently been cool and damp so I’m in a lot of pain, and I just started my period. I would have ended up in a pretty nasty state of mind for most of the evening had I been assigned there so it is just as well that I was somewhere else today. I’m hoping that I get to work elsewhere again tomorrow, too. As my PITAs were not given sufficient attention from the nurse today, they will be doubly “on” for tomorrow. Lovely.

My boss was in for a while doing some paperwork. I haven’t gotten to hang out with him for a while now; it was good to see him. He was still there when I left right before 10pm. He said he had about another hour or so to work.

I will probably end up going in a bit early and also staying a bit late tomorrow in order to get some things done for audits and in preparation for our Medicaid survey. Yes, it’s that time once again!

I am hoping things go well with getting this job at the VA. That would be a wonderful position. It’s a specialty practice that I really enjoy and have the experience to do well. It also has enough paperwork to keep me mainly behind a desk, which is where I need to be.

Jonathan is supposed to go to the sitter’s Monday. I suppose

we shall see how that works out. He was supposed to go two days last week that I ended up not sending him because he was just in a mood. His mother not being home has finally become reality in his little world. We had all sorts of behaviors this last week. Crying and tantrums. One day he refused to get out of his superhero pajamas or to eat lunch. I left him in his PJs and gave him peanut butter crackers, trail mix, and carrots to snack on. It isn’t worth the power struggle if it can be avoided. He acted up at the school on Friday and made us late in getting to Trinity’s medical appointment. Fortunately, we were not so late that we had to reschedule. Then, he performed quite nicely for the benefit of the pediatrician as well. Thankfully, she was very understanding when I explained that my daughter had just returned to fulltime work three weeks ago after being home for five years. Two days last week, he didn’t want me to leave after his dad arrived home from work. He came up with all manner of excuses as to why I could not leave. Yes, indeed, we were very “two” last week.

It is getting late. My medication is dictating that it is time to head to bed.

I'm not sure what is up with the font changing styles in mid-blog, but I can't seem to get it fixed. Guess it will have to stay "as is."

My Guy was Kissing my Friend!

I worked for four hours Sunday. As I was starting the car and getting ready to leave the house, my phone rang. I figured it was my boss wanting to know where I was. He had wanted me in a bit early. The sinus congestion and chest cold thing were not cooperative with his agenda.

It was actually the guy. He wanted to know when I was coming to work. I told him I was just pulling out from the house. He was calling because he had a patient on an outing and the pump for the tube feeding was dead. omg! I love my staff! I'm the one they always seem to call... whether I'm there or not... LOL

Joni was at work when I got there. She told me she had the funniest thing to tell me. I was just about to get started doing some actual work (as the Sunday afternoon concert was finally over) so we headed out for a quick smoke.

She told me that she hadn't been feeling well Saturday due to an upset stomach and had told one of the staff to give her a kiss to make her feel better. He had blown her a kiss from across the room. So, she then turned to my boyfriend and told him to give her a kiss to make her feel better. He kissed her on the cheek. Now, she knows he's my boyfriend. He doesn't know that she knows.

After he kissed her on the cheek, she told me that one of the other staff commented that she didn't feel well because she probably was pregnant. She directed my boyfriend to tell the other staff member why it was impossible for her to be pregnant.

His response, "She don't like da-ting, man."

omg! Joni, Judi, Hannah, and I rolled!

I could just hear him saying that...

So, my guy kissed my lesbian friend...

He has asked me about her. If she has ever had boyfriends, etc. He's never asked if there has ever been anything between her and me, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the thoughts of a three-some were partial motivation for some of his questioning. From some things she said about him, before she found out he was my boyfriend, and when I told her about his questions, she probably wouldn't nix the idea. Let me say that at her birthday party, my boyfriend was the guy that both the women and the men wanted.

He's young AND sexy. Go me!! LOL

And he is so very sweet and considerate and thoughtful.

I'm going to apply for a cardiology position at the VA Clinic. I love cardiology and have the experience to do the job well. Coworkers and friends have been very encouraging towards this position of the three or four that I found this week that I had some interest in.

The industrial nursing position at the steel mill. Not a bad work schedule or work requirement but some of the potential for mangling and injury that I could possibly encounter. Oh, not pretty. There was a full-time second-shift hospice position at the hospital that's right out my back door. You know, I love hospice, but I just don't know that I could do it full-time, week in and week out. It's hard. Very rewarding, but very hard. There's a part-time and contingent second-shift position at one of the assisted living complexes. Not a bad gig. There was also a home health position that didn't sound too bad.

So, that's the job search round-up for the week.

The VA position is good because it's cardiology, and bad & good because it's the VA. I'm just not the blind-obedience, don't make waves sort of person that the VA would really embrace. I took an oath to always act in the best interest of my patients...

Thus my motto.... Rule By Subterfuge!

LMAO

The guy was more than a little miffed about my change to contingent status when I ran-down all the details and factors that led to my change from part-time (with benefits) to contingent (without benefits or increase in pay). He has cast his vote in favor of the VA position as being the one I should give top preference. He has gone so far as to suggest that I just leave altogether and not even bother to continue contingent employment after getting all the info. As he said, he realizes how much my patients mean to me, but I need to consider myself and my health first. And, with why and how things were done, he feels that I have been shown grave disloyalty and should have no regrets in saying goodbye and moving on to other things, irrespective of how I may feel toward the people I serve.

Being that he has worked for this very same company for over three years now and has seen exactly how things are done, he has some very valid points to present in making the recommendations regarding continued employment that he has made. He has only been there as long as he has due to the fact that his weekend work schedule allows him full-time pay and the opportunity to attend school full-time during the week. He is not the only one for whom that statement is reality. I would say that would be the scenario for well over half of the weekend employees, both staff and nursing.

I should get ready to head to bed.

Things to do tomorrow!

Well, my first week on quasi-unemployment went without hitch or event other than I had a miserable case of the flu. Gabe was home from preschool all week, proving that Columbus Children's Hospital records department is an inept, illiterate group of fucks. How hard is it to process a form and fill out the requested information? These people even have a designated extension that you must utilize if you are requesting form completion and medical information from the records department. You can't get to speak to a real person - ever.

Oh I will be so glad when Dr. Frantz is back from maternity leave and settled into her new practice and the kids can be moved out of Children's ineffectual and inefficient system.

Cincinnati Children's Hospital is another matter entirely. Thankfully for frustrated parents and caregivers, it is only a couple of hours down the interstate from here. When I was doing medically-fragile pediatrics, I didn't hesitate to recommend to my parents that, though Columbus Children's may be the "only game in town," it is not the only option for treatment or for a second opinion.

The guy is back in class. I'm sort of bummed that I didn't even get one day of his time to myself during his break from school. With him moving at the end of this month, it should prove interesting. He has class Monday through Thursday and works Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I told him I would help him move, and he made apologies for his cultural attitude that moving was a man's job and decorating the house, the woman's. So, I suppose it will be a couple of days of me and the fat baby unpacking and putting things in order. Well, me doing that and the fat baby being entertained with DVDs and video games while I unpack.

I'm hoping the job listings have something worthwhile posted tomorrow. Well, something that I would be interested in doing, at any rate.

This would happen to be my favorite font. My handwriting is much like this font, so it feels native and organic to me.

The internet appears to have returned to “functional.” Of course… place a service call with a technician or make a dentist appointment, and you will be guaranteed to have no further issue with whatever it is that has been plaguing you.

Work went well. I love my patients and my coworkers, so my relatively "miffed" attitude didn't manifest itself. The only other nurse who knows that I am going contingent is Jessica, one of the other contingent nurses. She understands how I feel.

I looked at the job postings in the paper today. A couple seemed interesting. I have become so picky when it comes to nursing jobs. A clear sign that I have been doing this for far too long. Maybe I'll go through the temp service and find a nice CSR position somewhere.

I'm drained. I'm trying to stay awake until the guy gets off work, at least. I may or may not go see him if he calls. I haven't decided yet. I probably would not be the greatest of company. He is usually exhausted by the end of the third twelve-hour day and wants to go home and sleep. Sleeping is good too, though.

He looked at me at work today... I had to look away quickly. I felt myself beginning to blush. I cannot believe that he has this sort of effect on me. That is good and not so good.

I'm going to end this here. It has been a long weekend.

This is an experiment in “font.” Seeing how well I can C&P between MS Word and Google. Eureka, it would appear that we have success! I suppose we shall truly see when we hit the publish or perish button at the end of this session.

Publish or Perish....

16.9.07

I’ve been wanting to blog for the last couple of days, but the internet connection has proven to be seriously wonky. Gotta love modern technology… when it works, that is.

Things with the guy are going well. We both admitted that we missed each other during the couple of weeks that he was traveling.

He has been pretty stressed. He starts classes this coming week and is moving at the end of the month. When he is stressed, he prefers quiet and to be alone which does not sit well with my particular personality traits at times, but I suppose I should get used to it. If I don’t adjust now, it is one of those things that will surely make me crazy later.

I love the technology behind my RazrV3. It has apparently survived a splash into the toilet as my final act at work yesterday evening. I grabbed it as it hit the water and immediately pulled out the battery. My son-in-law affirmed that the RazrV3 is pretty durable as far as toilet dropping goes. He had been on the phone with customer service one night and a couple of phones had been dropped into toilets that evening with the only reported survivor having been the Razr. I can affirm that it is also pretty well drop and shock resistant as I manage to somehow drop mine every week or so. I guess I’m just going to have to wait a while on the upgrade to that BlackJack with its accompanying $49.95 per month data package. LMAO

Oh, just FYI, the toilet water was still as pristine as toilet water gets when I went diving.

Speaking of toilet water…

Eau de toilette was the subject of a brief conversation at work a couple of weeks ago. Michelle asked what it meant. I gave her the literal translation of “toilet water.” Amidst the laughter, I offered the further explanation that in French, toilette was your bath. No avail. I didn’t volunteer further fodder by telling Michelle that when I was growing up, my grandmother referred to eau de toilette as toilet water.

There are few folks alive now in this country that grew up without electricity, gas, running water. It was a very different time, and as late 20^th century and 21^st century Americans, we simply cannot relate.

Speaking of relating…

I watched a documentary program on the civil war in Sierra Leone the other day. I had read about the war. Intellectually understood the war. It was quite another thing indeed to see footage of newly maimed children and dead bodies being eaten by vultures, as they lay bloodied and mangled in the streets in Freetown.

Hindolo had told me of being in a hotel in Freetown, and as he was using the toilet, a bullet whizzed past his right ear and lodged in the wall.

Listening to the stories of people on both sides of the fighting, the victims and the rebels, was unsettling and a bit horrific.

The social issues, the infrastructure, the attempts by DeBeers and other agencies to curb the trade of “blood diamonds.” The statistic presented by one source was mind-boggling. During the war, exports of diamonds were around 25 million dollars. After the war, the value was close to $145 million. And, it is estimated by some sources that as many as one half of Sierra Leone’s diamonds are being smuggled out of the country illegally still. So, that would bring the actual yearly total to somewhere close to $300 million.

That money would go far towards solving many of the issues in the country beginning with wells and clean water and the end being education and medical care.

The issue of blood diamonds prompts me to think of popular fiction.

Probably the most successful work of fiction that I can think of here in the early 21^st century would be the official 9/11 Commission Report. ‘Nuff said on that one.

I’ve been doing better with eating this week. I’m eating more often and gearing my carbohydrate intake toward complex carbs. I haven’t lost any more weight, but I still haven’t gained. I haven’t had raging headaches from my blood sugar being high, but I will occasionally get those dull headaches and terrible drowsiness that remind me that I’m late on getting something to eat. Which is a problem. In order to fix the ache and the sleepiness, I need carbs quickly – translating to sugar. I was able to quickly remedy the situation with a couple of small pieces of Snickers bar; followed up by a small portion of pasta with meat sauce. I snack mainly on seeds and nuts, which seems to work well. I haven’t seemed to experience any sudden shifts in blood sugar. That is a good thing though I probably should be monitoring my blood sugar more often than I am.

I have finished the back and front of the teal chenille Christmas sweater and am working on the first of the sleeves. A few more rows and I’ll be ready for the decrease shaping at the shoulder; then, on to the second sleeve and then the turtleneck. Yippee!

The guy has said that he wouldn’t mind it if I were to knit him a nice wool sweater for winter, being that he doesn’t like the cold any more than he likes the hot. I told him that I’m going to have to move him to San Diego where there is climate rather than weather. LOL

I had a bid in on some very nice spruce color New Zealand wool on eBay before the internet connection went flaky a few days ago. I’ll have to see if I acquired it tomorrow after the service technician comes. The cable company says he will be here between 2pm and 4pm. (Note the gender-biased assumption that the technician will be male.)

It’s getting close to time to jump in to the shower and head to work…. For FOUR hours!

My weekend hours have been slashed to two 3pm to 7pm shifts, and my boss left me a voice mail to look at the schedule and make up the remainder of my hours during the week. That would be nice if there were any hours available during the week. My hours were cut due to the fact that the nurse who is in school, and the company pays her tuition, can only work weekends this quarter. So, I lost the hours.

The change took place yesterday, which is convenient as it was the first day of the new pay period. I will just make myself contingent as of yesterday. I have already picked the 20 hours that I want to work for the remainder of the month, and I will work no more than my required 20 hours next month.

I had planned on searching the web for job postings this morning before work, but the internet connection has steadfastly refused to cooperate. I think the modem has fried.

I’ve brushed my hair, brushed my teeth, put on deodorant and a bra that isn’t (you’d have to see it to understand – styled like a sports bra only fits like a camisole), and changed my shirt. That’s as ready for work as I’m getting today.

The words “found” and “toothbrush” should never be used in the same sentence.

I have no musings coming immediately to mind, so I’m off to knit a couple of more rows before I roll out to work.

More Changes....

I'm home for the break in the middle of working the 12-hour split shift. It could be worse. It could have been a 16-hour split shift, but my boss thought that would be too much for me, so we compromised at 12. It works. I did go back to bed this morning and sleep a bit later today in preparation for being up all night. The coffee is brewing, and I'm cooking up some rice and gravy for the dog. The cats' portion will have some tuna added to it.

I cook food for them every week or so since the revelation of the tainted pet food a few months back. I need to cook for them more consistently. I have found several free recipes for food and treats on the internet.

I need to begin cooking for myself more consistently, too. Things have been changing. Before bed tomorrow, I have to get scheduled in to see my doctor this week.

Quitting smoking has now become an earnest endeavor. My blood pressure hasn't been spiking up as badly as it was a couple of months ago, but it's time to quit nonetheless. The boyfriend absolutely despises the fact that I smoke. For him, it's a combination of health and cultural factors. For me, it's something that I know I need to do, and why I ever started again.... UGH!!

The changes I've been wanting to make in my diet have been put into place out of necessity. So, I figured since I was having to take the drastic plunge in the "lifestyle modification zone" I may as just go all the way and quit smoking now as well.

When my feet swelled mysteriously a few weeks back, I received several cuts and bruises in addition to the blisters. I noticed that it seemed to be taking quite a long time for the cuts to heal. I have been feeling generally crappy. Nothing specific stands out symptom-wise other than serious cravings for sweets and having headaches. As I routinely take naproxen or ibuprofen, the headaches really weren't noticeable unless it was first thing in the morning or if I missed a dose of medication. About two weeks ago, I became seriously hypoglycemic at work. (Low blood sugar.) I ate carbs for two-and-a-half hours straight to get my blood sugar to a normal level.

I do not eat regular meals. I eat one meal a day and maybe an occasional snack. As I've had a few hypoglycemic episodes over the years, I didn't think much of it except the extreme that it took to get my blood sugar to a normal level.

I began checking my blood sugar routinely over the next several days. If I ate frequently (every 3 or 4 hours) and ate mainly proteins and complex carbs, my blood sugars would stay stable and normal. Good sign. As the test, I ate a bowl of sweetened breakfast cereal. Within 30 minutes, my blood sugar skyrocketed and I had the miserable headache and the general malaise that I had noticed plaguing me over the last few weeks. The problem, my blood sugar did not come down to a normal range. It was still elevated 4 1/2 hours after eating. The test is that it should drop to a normal range within 2 hours after eating. I don't know how long it remained elevated. I didn't check it again after that.

It would seem that genetics, both my father and maternal grandmother were diabetic, and the regimen of medications that I've taken over the years (multiple years of high dose steroid therapy) have finally exacted a toll.

When I did the low-carb diet last year for weight loss, it was with the knowledge that I would some day have to make this type of diet permanent due to the familial history of diabetes. It would seem that time has arrived.

However, being the noncompliant miserable patient that we nurses make... LOL
I didn't eat a snack when I got home last night. And, I didn't eat this morning when I was up before going back to bed. When I arrived at work at 2:30 this afternoon, I attacked the donuts and took two Excedrin to deal with the headache that I knew would ensue. When my boss had told me that he was bringing donuts to work, I had made a sarcastic comment about not being able to eat them. He said sure I could. I would just need to take 6 or 7 units of insulin or some glucophage or something.... omg! Nurses are the worst! ROFLMTCFAO The Excedrin worked pretty well and when the headache hit, I only felt a bit of a dull ache. My blood sugar stayed high, but I did eat a small bit of fish and some asparagus in order to prevent the total crash that would happen when my blood sugar did finally drop.

"That guy" does not know about this most recent development yet. He will if he reads this entry before I get around to telling him.... As much as I do not want to have this particular conversation with him, it would go much better hearing it from me rather than reading it on the internet... He is very laid-back, but when he is pressed or convicted about something, his resolve is firm and not to be swayed. That is a good trait to have in being able to deal with my choleric, bossy, Type A personality.

So, between trying to quit smoking and cut excess carbohydrates and caffeine from my diet, I've been feeling a bit "out of phase" these last few days. As I told my boss, I feel like someone unscrewed my head, filled it with rocks, and when they went to screw it back on, got it cross-threaded. omg! What a miserable few days this has been! It will pass, and my hope is that it passes quickly. Nothing like lifestyle changes to the extreme!

Time to get ready to go back to work.

More stuff later when I become cognizant... which should be no later than Tuesday or Wednesday.

Right You Are

My friend, Genny, posted a comment that "that guy" must have returned home as scheduled as I hadn't posted anything for nearly 48 hours! LOL Give that lady a prize!

The illicit cell phone in my pocket began to vibrate about 10:15pm Tuesday night. I was in the nurses office. I saw it was him, said I was taking a break, and went outside to call him back.

He told me that he was just getting into Columbus, where we are conservative. His friends had apparently been giving him a bad time for morphing into a conservative during exile. "Conservative is good," he said to me and laughed.

Great. I have a country and western music liking, conservative leaning, sixteen years younger African boyfriend while struggling to maintain my punk sensibilities and be the grandma in the minivan. Some days, it just ain't easy being me.

He queried if he was going to see me after I got off work at 11pm. I reminded him that I had offered the week before to come molest him upon his return home and he had declined. Apparently, he had misunderstood and thought I had said I wanted to harass him upon his return home. "Well, I want to molest you," was his reply.

Upon my return to the office, the other nurses (and the eavesdropping coverage assistants from their cubicle) got a good laugh over the molestation conversation. The other nurses were, however, glad that I had attained "official girlfriend status" as evidenced by his phone call the previous day. Maureen wanted to see pictures from the ensuing activities while Nikita declined and said she didn't want to see any pictures on my phone unless it was of the grand kids. LOL

After showering, feeding and watering the quadrupeds, losing my phone and having to search for it for 20 minutes, I finally made it to his apartment at 12:30. The air conditioning had broken while he was away, and it was absolutely sweltering inside. It had to be close to 100 degrees due to the outside temperature having been in the 90s. I was home by 2am due to having become nauseous and ill from the heat.

The heat was absolutely oppressive, but the conversation was good. The more we talk, the more he amazes me.....

The boys are falling asleep, and I think I may follow their lead and take a nap. It has been a long few days with too little sleep.

Surprise

I generally have my cell phone with me at work. It's against policy, but when I'm out running around the acreage, it makes it quicker to return pages.

I was on break when it rang this evening. I figured it could have been my boss calling me back. He was in twice today for paperwork reasons. I didn't recognize the number but answered anyway.

It was "that guy." En route from Philadelphia to Mary-land. I am guessing the cell phone he called me from belonged to one of the traveling companions I heard talking in the background.

He was just calling to say hello and that he would be home tomorrow. I'm finding that sort of doubtful if he was just en route to Mary-land at 8pm. However, stranger things have been known to happen.

The call took me by surprise. He had said that he would call me, but I really hadn't expected it. I had sort of reasoned that he may tell me those type of things to placate me. I surmised incorrectly, it would seem. Sometimes we women think too much. LOL

Blurbs - Part Two

I was in far too much ache last night when I arrived home after running for twelve hours to do much other than take a Flexeril and a melatonin and crawl into bed at fifteen minutes past midnight. I can't really say that I was in pain because when you live with chronic pain you become very selective in your classification criteria. In my world, pain is acute. Anything less than acute pain is an ache.

I slept in until somewhere around 11am. I planned on going in to work this morning to catch up on some paperwork that other people have neglected to do. I think I'll settle with going in around 4pm and working until 11pm. Seven hours on a holiday is more than enough. And, what I can't fix in three hours, the people who screwed up in the first place and fix. I'll hit the floor at 7pm and work until 11pm, and then call it a day.

In this age of media spin and sound-bites, the blurb/slogan/catch phrase has become king. Our attention spans have become so shortened as to be no longer than your four minute music video, it would seem. A well-phrased adage has always captured a degree of attention, but to live in a society where media jargon and slogan readily become the vernacular is frightening to a degree. Hollow, flippant, and stereotyped replies have taken the place of real conversation and of real thought.

The conversation is what I miss most when I don't get to see Mr. SoWhoIsHe. How can you develop a relationship with someone without conversation? Real conversation, not some programmed, dogmatic recitation. He challenges my intellect. While he is handsome and charming with a sublime sense of humor, it is his capacity for intelligent, logical, and pointed thought that garners my attention.

My friends are my friends because of their insight and intellect. We do not agree on many issues. We do not have to agree or attempt to "convert" each other to our own particular view on a subject. In some ways, it is those differences that cement the friendship into what it is.

Truth in advertising? Never. Truth in government? Desirable but unlikely. Truth in relationship? Required. Truth in the soul? Nirvana.

Blurbs

I was playing a game online this morning. Not one that I play often. One that requires absolutely no thought, no concentration. Perfect thing for killing some time while I attempt to get caffeine levels to therapeutic and divest myself of this miserable sinus headache. I haven't taken the allergy medicine for four days now. Awoke with a sinus headache yesterday and today. Part of the headache could be related to lack of caffeine. My fibromyalgia has been raging so I'm decreasing caffeine intake. Not an easy task for someone who will routinely consume about 2 pots of coffee during the course of the day. Yesterday, I had 1 1/2 cups of coffee. Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi! (to quote the Ying Yang Twins) heeheehee

As this particular little internet game tends to be rather boring, the programmers have added some funny and some factual little blurbs to appear between rounds. One of the blurbs reads, "Speak the truth but leave immediately thereafter." That quote is probably heisted from someone, but I'm too lazy to google and find out. It is a pretty cool little thought, though.

What is truth?

There are those who can too easily define truth and other concepts such as love, hate, pornography, freedom, honorable surrender, god.... As one of the grand old masters of science fiction, Theodore Sturgeon, wrote in the introduction to Philip Jose Farmer's Image of the Beast (which was considered pornographic when it was released in the 1960s), people such as those are the labelers and are among the greatest threats to any society.

There are certainly mathematical and scientific truths. Beyond those realms, truth becomes skewed to the subjective.

Religion being an area which comes immediately to the forefront.

I'm going to have to continue this in the next installment. Time to get ready to roll out for twelve hours of fun at work. Yippee!

Until then, I'll be pondering the blurb... what is truth? and why does it seem that people do not want to hear truth? or perhaps just your particular skew on truth?