Details

It's starting to wind-up into the last rush to finish things before the July 6th deadline. Oy!

The finishing details. I have several bracelets and necklaces strung but had run out of the type of clasps that I decided at the last minute that I needed to use. So, they're on order.

I have no candles ready. Thankfully, that's only a commitment of one full day to get those done.

I want some more textiles ready to go. That's going to take the time. I can see using my next few days off stitching late into the night.

I'm out for now. The beading board awaits. The knitting is sitting idle. And, my desired aquisitions are ending within the hour on eBay.

Onward

I went to work for a short shift this afternoon. I wore another of my tops that I'd made myself for this summer and got orders for two hats and a request to look at some of my jewelry. It was payday, so I went to the bank after work and the teller at the bank liked my top as well and wants to check out the website when it's up next month. I guess the old saying that over-night success happens after years of hard work may just be true after all.



I sat down and started to work on some "product" for the site/for sale. I had to laugh because it never seems to fail...

I will start a project with something definite in mind. I'll get a ways into it and it will just seem boring or bland or not what I want at all. And, I'll get an idea.... Things start happening from that point, and I just roll with it. LOL

It generally turns out very well and better than I expected, so I guess I can't argue with my right-brained muse even though my left-brain believes her to be quite mad indeed. Please don't tell my left-brain that it's much more fun to make up the rules as you go along.

I'm having some serious "web issues" this morning with replies and confirmations and registrations. So, I think I'm going to go take a break.

~sigh~

I spent my day off doing pretty much nothing. I wanted to get into work at some point and review and fax some labs. I left Brian a voice mail around 3pm that I'd just come in early tomorrow and do it as I was pretty much depressed today.

The day started off pretty well. Had coffee with the daughter and drama with the grands. I'm knitting on the teal chenille sweater and sipping coffee while the five of them fuss over Nintendo DS games, who gets to drink the last of the apple juice, who should be sitting where at the table to eat their cereal... the usual stuff that goes on from wake up until lights out (and sometimes beyond lights out) at my daughter's house.

I came home and began to wind the skeins of vintage cotton/viscose yarn into hanks in order to wash it. It's beautiful yarn. White with a multicolored wrap of blues and pinks and purples and oranges and just a bit of a slub. It's somewhere between a fingering weight and a DK weight. I have 18 skeins of it and can't wait to use it. I'm not sure what to make with it yet, but it will surely be beautiful.

I was in the middle of bribing the cat with a piece of cotton yarn and some cat nip and trying to wind the first hank when a friend IM'd. We hadn't talked in a very long time. He's a great guy. I need to get back to Seattle just so I have an excuse to pop up to BC and visit him. lol

I was telling him that I'm only working part time now and am concentrating on my art. He replied that it was about time because I do beautiful stuff. (blushing) Finally, things are falling into place. I've found a great media outlet. I'm working on the web site. I have space available to me for the Gallery Hop... for free!! Space is so coveted there, and I land an "in" for free! How awesome is that?! Yesterday, after seeing one of the summer sweaters I had done, our Program Director at work asked me to please consider putting some consignment work in the new art studio that we're opening. Again, space for free. And, I don't have a problem with the consignment because the money that the gallery takes goes to the residents for Christmas and birthday presents and day trips and clothing and medical supplies and equipment that insurance doesn't pay for.

I told my friend that I was a little behind right now in getting things done because my dad just died recently. I had just got my web domain the day before my dad went into the hospital.

I told him that it really sucked because I was finally going to be able to do what I have been wanting to do for so long with my art and my dad isn't here to see it happen. That's when the reality of the fact that my dad is dead hit me.

So, I've been crying off and on today, in between winding and washing hanks of yarn, crocheting a button for and attaching the strap on Carol's tote. It's finished, now. Joni's poncho still needs trimmed and sewn together. I won some yarn auctions on eBay. I found a light pink bamboo yarn that will be perfect for Yama's sweater. I'm still looking for the yarn I want to make Martha's sweater with.

Brian wants me to do fabric panels for his kitchen, in addition to the cornice board and the pillows for the living room. I also came up with a really neat idea for his sliding glass doors in order to get rid of those horrendous vertical blinds. I ran the idea by him yesterday and he loved it.

My fellow nurses also were made privy to my plastic bag obsession. Jane thought my ideas were very cool but asked what would even make me think of doing some of the things that I'm thinking of doing with the plastic grocery bags. I shrugged and told her that's just the way my mind seems to work. The strapping tapes from the boxes had her a bit lost though. lol However, they all thought that the use of the natural fiber and renewable source yarns and recycled yarns was a very cool thing. They have always sort of teased me about being the walking medical dictionary, but I am pretty sure that they had no idea that this "other" side of me existed. Sure, I wear my Docs and my Pendletons to work. My hair was down to my butt before I got it cut off and donated it two years ago. So, they sort of had an idea of who I really am away from work, but I don't think they had any clue that it was as dominant a part of my being as it really is. I guess they didn't realize that my Halloween costume was stuff from my closet and my makeup bag! lol

I didn't tell them about the "Linus blankets" for the orphanages in China or about the fact that a lot of the wool yarns that I buy on eBay aren't for my work but are for charity projects. Or that I'm getting ready to sit down and do a bunch of sweaters for the red sweater anti-war art project. Or that I've ruined many a crochet hook crocheting with wire. lol I guess I'll just send them to my website when it's up the first part of next month.

For now, I'm off to wind some more yarn into hanks and think about new uses for tyvek and corks from wine bottles.

OK, not a great pic, I know.

I've been at this thing for a few months now, so I figured it was time to get around to posting a pic.

No, I don't look anything like Dot Warner, but she and I have much in common. (I'll just let you use your imagination on that one! LOL)

Inspiration

"It's just a 'thing,' as useless as a view from your window." - Maria Oldring

Isn't that just a great quote?

I surfed Maria's gallery and site this morning. By the time I was done surfing and had decided to use that quote, I was able to get the quote up correctly, but not go back to the site and get her name. Received a nasty-gram from Yahoo GeoCities that this site was temporarily unavailable because its data transfer limit had been exceeded. grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

It's ok though, I hate Yahell more than they hate me! LOL I do not, however, hold the record for depth of loathing and disdain of Yahoo. I believe that record is held by my friend, Al, a Mac user. It would seem that Yahoo is a most seriously Mac un-friendly realm; perhaps the most unfriendly save for Microsoft itself.

Maria is a bead artist and teacher. She lives in Moscow. I'll have to put a permalink up to her site once I am able to access it again. (I popped over there via an external link, so I don't have the addy in my browser, and for some reason, when I try and access the addy from the browsing history, I get the root directory.) Have I mentioned that Yahell and I hate each other?

~This public service rant has ceased, and we now return you to our regularly scheduled drivel.~

(I have learned that this site will not allow me to use code symbols to designate segues. Oh well.)

Isn't that just a superb quote, though? What is the value of a view from a window? What is the value of the perspective with which we view external things and events?

Just some things to ponder.

Reality

I called off work last night. I didn't particularly want to, for various reasons - monthly change-over paperwork, finances, attendance points, laboratory orders and results, on-going mentoring training, client paperwork and updates...

With having so many valid reasons for needing to go to work, why did I call off? Lack of sleep? I've worked longer, harder shifts on less sleep. Depression? I'm still struggling with my father's death and the ever-present chronic pain, but the depression is very manageable most days. Burn-out from the grandchildren? Yes, I've had the two little boys home and sick all week, and Ness home sick for the last two days. "Special Ed" (nod to Crank Yankers) has continued to be "on" in the behavioral area and has me stressed out to the point of wanting to medicate him or myself on a regular basis, but that's nothing new.

As an aside, we did finally get a diagnosis from the behavioral evaluation. ADHD with ODD - Oppositional Defiant Disorder. As I told my daughter as we were reading the reports - Special Ed is ODD. The surly bitch failed to see any humor in that at the time. She and I talked about the diagnosis for a bit last night, in light of continued observance of his behaviors and correlating them with the diagnosis. We're not fully convinced that it's totally accurate or complete, and feel that in some ways they were just looking to be able to pigeonhole or to place a label. So, I'm sure there will be more to come... from him, from me, from the medical community. As he starts preschool in the fall, we can throw some educators into the mix as well. LMSFAO (laughing my surly fucking ass off) On the note of educators, the preschool teacher who knows this child and who was looking forward to having him in her class next year has been "staff reduced." The Columbus Public School District's way of saying "fired." She has the opportunity to bump a person with less seniority from a position at another school. We've had one very good teacher, who is low on seniority and deals yearly with the situation of being staff reduced or bumped, decide to resign from the district and go elsewhere. The principal has decided to go elsewhere as well. She's tired of fighting the district for the staff and the teachers and the programs that the kids need. She's a wonderful advocate for the children and the families that she serves. Her presence will be sorely missed, and I hope her new school and district appreciate what they have in her. hmmmm.... I wonder if the google-gods will let me use those characters in my post... I guess we shall see - publish or perish! LOL

So, why exactly then did I call off work?

My knees.

They're still horribly sore and painful from having worked Monday night. I can walk on the flat and level, but don't ask me to bend them... sit, stand, go up/down stairs....

It's a crushing realization at this point.

I have "known" for a couple of months now, since my physician cut my hours to part time, that I would have to find another job. Another career field, in reality. But, the realization of that has become more and more ominous as the days of this week have slipped by. In spite of medications and rest, my knees have gotten no better.

What is a nurse who cannot walk?

My sciatic nerve pain and the pain from the sciatic nerve impingement that radiates down my left leg and the numbness in my feet, due to both sciatic nerves being impinged, play a part in this as well, but that has been secondary to the pain and decreased range of motion in my knees this week. It plays a part in not being able to walk, though.

I've been here several times over the last eleven years, since having been diagnosed with the rheumatoid arthritis.

And, I'm tired.

I've blogged before about the un/under-employment cycle related to this disease, on my old Yahoo 360 blog (see the link on my homepage of this blog), so I'm not going to re-hash that reality again. It would be both redundant and depressing.

I'm going to finish my coffee, smoke a cigarette, and think about what I need to do. It's time to make a change.

The greatest fear that we face is the fear of the unknown. Thankfully, I'm not given to fear.