Some Things...

Not quite sure where this will go, but let's press onward and find out...

It was on this date in 1963 that John F. Kennedy was assassinated. It seems hard to believe that it has been nearly thrity-five years since this country had a truly great leader. In my opinion, we had two great presidents in the 20th century, JFK and FDR. Both were rich but largely angered their class with their social conscience and understanding that it was the middle class who was the back-bone and strength of this nation. Both understood the importance of science and research, unencumbered by political strings.

Speaking of political strings....

I posted a very cool video from YouTube onto my myspace page. The link to my page is in the link section on the right sidebar. If you just want to watch the video, here is the addy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKZg-RswIco

It is done by The Art of Mental Warfare and uses the music of Nine Inch Nails - The Warning from Year Zero as a soundtrack. Please watch it. It will make you think about its message, even if it is one that you may not agree with.

I happen to be a big fan of Nine Inch Nails. Note the link - - - - - - - - -> (over here to the right) for the website. The first time I saw them live was on the ORIGINAL Lollapalooza tour (from which I still have my t-shirt). Broken remains as my favorite NIN album, though I always said that The Fragile would be the one that I would take to the desert island with me, just because it was a double disc. lol However, I think Year Zero has supplanted it for desert island status. The remix of Year Zero was released this last Tuesday. What is different about this remix (and we know how notorious Trent is for remixes - I'm still trying collect all those halos, OK) album is that is was done by the fans. For several years, Trent has put the master recordings on the website in order for the fans to be able to download and remix them. He blogged about his reasoning for doing this, the Year Zero Remix snafu with his former record company, and implications of lawsuits that Viacom and Universal have filed against YouTube and MySpace. I would encourage you to read that blog on www.nin.com in order to see some opinions about what these lawsuits could mean to the fate and content of the internet.

Trent Reznor is one of those musicians that I always said I would like to sit and have a beer with. (It would be sort of awkward as neither of us drink, but you get the gist.) Donald Fagan would be on that list. Frank Zappa and Warren Zevon would have been on that list. Patti Smith would be on that list. As would Lou Reed. Todd Rundgren. David Bowie. Joni Mitchell.

Rolling Stone magazine did a series a while back about 100 of the most influential musicians, written by other musicians. David Bowie did Trent Reznor. Keith Richards (I guess he finally admitted defeat and added the "s" after decades of people getting his name wrong.) did Gram Parsons. I am a big fan of Gram's, too. That series is archived and available for reading online. Check that out, too when you get the chance.

The photo at the beginning of this blog is "the hat" (If you want the story on "the hat" go to www.dubman.com and check it out. It's an interesting saga. Sort of along the lines of the YouTube classic - Where the Hell is Matt?) at Gram Parsons' memorial in Joshua Tree. If you don't know the story behind the memorial, read up on Gram. In fact, read up on Gram anyway. His influence on music is legendary.

Today is Thanksgiving. I'm working, if you can imagine that! lol It's fun though. I love hanging out with my "other family" on the holidays. I am planning on taking Christmas off to spend with my kin. I worked 17 hours last Christmas. That better be enough to get a bye this year. Plus, I'm contingent. I am not contractually obligated. However, being that my boss is my friend, he is not above using guilt on me. He worked last Christmas as well, so I'm going to remind him that both he and I have earned Christmas off this year.

I do have much to be thankful for, in spite of the fact that 2007 has been one truly fucked up, suck-ass year for me personally.

I can no longer work full-time, but I can work enough to pay my bills and certainly do make more than the $603 a month that I would get from disability. I have no health insurance, but I am eligible for care (As my friend Genny says, "So that's what they're calling it these days.") through the VA - once I get desperate enough, that is. LOL I have diabetes, but I'm not over-weight according to my body-size/weight chart. According to my closet, I am about 35 pounds over-weight. My blood sugars stay relatively stable in the 80s-90s range. Having them run high certainly does damage but having them fluctuate does damage as well. I have been battling severe depression since the end of last year, but I am reasonably functional most days and find that I have been gradually improving over the last couple of months. The fact that I cannot sleep has to be the worst aspect of it. The second worst would have to be that I have had absolutely no interest in anything outside of what is necessary for me to do. That seems to be abating a bit, as directly evidenced by the week-long shopping vendetta that just ended. (I did win both of my eBay auctions last night. Yippee!) My dad died this year, but I did meet my soul-mate. As much as he frustrates me, he is the one. Damn it! My 29-year-old cousin died unexpectedly from a grand mal seizure a couple of months after my dad died. That pretty much pushed me over-the-edge mental health-wise and caused me to step away from my religious convictions and examine why it was that I chose to believe what it was that I held as "truth." It also spawned some good debates with my friend, Al. I considered myself atheist, but I would have to concur with Amanda's assessment that agnostic would be more accurate. As I have said, when you tell God to fuck off, it is still an acknowledgment that he does exist. On re-examination of my faith, I would have to say that I am a deist at this point. Probably more gnostic than Christian in my views on the teachings of the early Christian church. And, I am reading the Quran. I also have a couple of Buddhist texts that I want to read. I think Buddhism is a great philosophy, but no more insightful or inherently true than any other at this point. That is pretty much the summation of the year to date, and I hope that I have no more to add to it with the six or so weeks that remain in this calendar year.

Hey, it's 7:50pm, and I'm home!

We had an extra nurse decide to show up for the night shift since it was convenient for her agenda. So, I cleared it with the boss and left. There is absolutely no reason to pay four nurses double-time. It's just as well. We had a call off for tomorrow morning, so I'll be working a 7a to 7p tomorrow. Speaking of which, I'd better just go ahead and take some benadryl and melatonin now so I can get some sleep since I will have to be up at 5am. So much for early in the a.m. Black Friday shopping ventures. It's just as well. I could use to be making money rather than spending it.

My boss is pretty bummed-out with his new guy. Seems he has a thing for hanging at the bar all the time. I can see where that would get old really quickly. He asked how I was doing with my guy. Couldn't admit to doing much better other than we weren't arguing. Of course, I haven't talked with Brian in over a week, so I don't think he knew that we had a fight in the first place.

It is a bit after 9:30. Time for me to smoke one last cigarette and get ready to make my way to bed. Being paranoid, I am setting my battery alarm clock and my cellphone alarm as well. Even I cannot sleep through three alarms. Well, I haven't been known to sleep through three. Two, yes-on plenty of occasions. Being that my morning stiffness is bad, it takes me a couple of hours to get moving so I have no choice except to get up at 5am.

So, these are just a few things that were on my mind today.

Who knows what tomorrow may bring.