I'm ALIVE! ...and on the internet

It has been a long, cold, grey winter. Welcome to O-hia. We have, after a fashion, had some sunshine at intervals over the last few days. The sky was, at least, more blue than overcast, and I was wishing that I had tossed my shades into my pack... "What is this alien brightness to which my eyes are unaccustomed?"

It took more than two months of rescheduled appointments (due to work and frigid temperatures) to get my cable and internet installed, but as of one week ago, I'm back! As my only available day for an install appointment is Saturday, that in itself compounded the logistics and lengthened the time-frame. Having to work and/or watch the grands on Saturday while my daughter worked complicated the scenario.

After the third reschedule, I even took an afternoon off during the week to make an appointment for the install. The temperature that day was in the single digits and the wind chill was more than -20 degrees. I just couldn't bring myself to have the installer out in that sort of frigid mess. As I told the very nice customer service person on the phone, I didn't want that particular karma lurking about seeking its opportune moment. The CSR was in humorous agreement on that fact. From the left-brained cynical wench next door (aka my offspring), "If you don't have the tech out working, someone else will. That's just stupid." "Maybe, but let someone else have that karma. I don't want it."

The Judeo-Christian interpretation... "reaping and sowing" Why would I "sow" into someone having to be outside working in totally miserable conditions for my enjoyment of something as superfluous as digital cable television and internet access? Do I really want to "reap the harvest" from that particular bit of selfish behavior? Nope. Not me.

Hindolo's take on having cable installed... "You are getting cable? What has changed?" Ever the pragmatist. (He with the 43-inch LCD as the focal point of the living room and no cable...)

Genny IM'd me the other night. I'm glad she did. I have missed our chats. Fortunately, she blogs frequently so I have been able to stay updated on the parental units and the goings on at the shelter. I told her that I had experienced a "Genny moment" on the bus that morning on my way to work.

I was happily knitting away on the Rambling Rows Afghan pattern (shameless plug for Cottage Creation Patterns and Carol Anderson--and why the heck not, Paradise Fibers in Spokane from where I purchased the pattern) that I am making in bright, jewel-toned colors for a therapy blanket for one of the treatment rooms. A rather unkempt man wearing a bright orange insulated coverall boarded the bus after having secured his bicycle to the rack. He immediately commented on my knitting, introduced himself as "Mike" and reached to shake my hand. As I was in the middle of the decrease stitch pattern, I could not shake his hand but did offer mine once I had completed the decrease.

Mike then commented about how he thought it was a very exciting and interesting thing that I had the telecommunications receiver antenna connecting the pointed sticks together. (I was knitting on a circular knitting needle, two short sticks of bamboo connected with a nylon cable. * explanation added for clarity for the knitting uninitiated*)

I explained that it was a nylon cable, a very poor conductor of telecommunications signals. "My attempt at reality orientation," as I explained to Genny. Mike was, however, not to be dissuaded. It then became a fiber optic cable. Genny laughed; had Mike been able to be convinced, he would have then had to admit that he was able to be cured. Not likely to be with schizophrenia that is generally poorly managed among the underserved who are out in the community.

I told Genny that I really wanted to drag him on to the office with me and start upon "fixing" him.

I genuinely despise it when God gives those glimpses of clarity and unction. I am not a psych nurse.

I will tell you that I am not a pediatric nurse, either. I just happened to wind up, through God's doing, where I'm at. It was no fault of my own; I had nothing to do with it. I work at a job that I didn't even apply for! (This is the second solely pediatric stint of my career, by the way.)

Ali (my doc) thinks it's funny. Since I told her of how I came to be at this job, she has enjoyed relating it to a few of our patients and to some of the students and interns and residents who have rotated with us. She didn't envision her practice being what it is, either. God just seems to have these ideas for us...

What are you gonna do? I have enough experience in going down this road to know that you can go along the hard way, or you can go along the easy way. Sort of like trying to put a coat on a two-year-old. "Do you want to put your coat on here or do you want to put your coat on by the door?" It is understood that the coat is going to be put on. The variables are timing and place.

Time for me to be on to some other things.
More later.

Everything I Needed to Know in Life...

... I learned from Horatio Caine!

teehee

Your family are the most important people in your life. They may make things extremely difficult for you at times, but you do your best to take care of them. Remember, if you don't love your family, no one else may.

No matter how uncomfortable the situation, you must do the morally right thing.

You always eliminate the threat with extreme prejudice... no wavering, no doubt, no second thought.

A wry one-liner never hurts.

Isn't that all there is? LOL

Yeah, I watch CSI Miami. Not so much for David Caruso; more for that quasi-forensic stuff dramatized there. And, the plot lines of most of Bruckheimer's CSI series have some decent twists. I prefer the forensic shows for the truly vicarious stuff, but I've seen most of them. My mind is sort of warped that way.

I'm one of those people who looks at the grotesque photos on Rotten.com and is more fascinated by the "hmmmm, now exactly how did this get to be this" aspect of them than viewing them just for the sheer shock/schlock/horror value. I don't slow down on the highway at accident scenes. I have no morbid fascination. There's really nothing there that I want to see.

A couple of years back, the offspring and I were watching some forensic science-inspired TV program. I commented to her that I had been offered a full scholarship to study forensic science years ago, but my parents had been so appalled by the thought that they refused to allow me to accept it. She was incredulous. The next time we visited my family, I brought it up the subject of that offer. The memory of it still brought revulsion to my mother. I, however, think I would have made a kick ass blood-spatter expert.

On the internet browser homepage at msn.com yesterday was a little "what do your color preferences say about your personality and good career options" quizzes. I took it. It was pretty accurate. Paralleled my Jungian personality ENTP results. Said I would be ideally suited to arts/design/creative-type professions. Yeah, what else is new?

In defense of my left-brain, I took a career satisfaction inventory test from the same site. I'm well-suited and perfectly happy in my profession except in areas of salary, benefits, some of the organizational structure things. Who doesn't experience some dissatisfaction and frustration with those areas? It wasn't enough dissatisfaction to cause disharmony in my soul, so I suppose it doesn't matter that much, does it?

I have acquired the "head cold" that is making its way through the household. Rather than opting for the green death Nyquil route, I went the Vitamin C, Zinc, echinacea in addition to the B-complex vitamin and probiotics route. Some increased intake of water, some green tea with honey lemon and ginseng, and a bowl of hot and sour soup for good measure has me not feeling too badly at all.

The guy is heading back to class tomorrow. Two quarters to go. He's taking this engagement ring-thing quite seriously. I had joked that he should pick it up for me from Tiffany when he goes to NYC to do some Christmas shopping. He decided that was a good idea. As he stated to me, "Yes, you should have a nice ring." Guess I need to now redirect him to Ashcroft and Oak instead. Wonder if there's one in NYC? lol

Staying Alive

Round Two of my employment at Park West came to an end in early June. That ending has brought both relief and hardship, though thankfully, more of the former than the latter. Though I've had to contact Wage & Hour to try and recover salary that they owe me and money has been extremely tight, I am more than thrilled to be away from the malpractice and the drama.

I'm currently doing in-home care for an autistic child (more on that later) and grossly under-employed, yet it's a job so I'm not complaining.

Classes and the ensuing ton of nursing school homework/busy-work are keeping the guy far busier than I would like. But, we're still together... it has been a year. I'm certain that none of the people who know us would have thought that with the major differences in our personalities that we'd have made it together this long.

I am still a bit dismayed with the cultural/male attitude that I'm an "assumed acquired commodity" but hey... I was at his place the other night, and he had to run out to pick up notes from a classmate. I was left at the apartment to my own devices (another first that reiterates that I'm equated to "acquired commodity status") while he ran. He returned and assumed the position in front of the computer for the next round of the previously mentioned busy-work. I watched a bit of the news on the 43-inch LCD TV that gets recpetion on three channels (as it is connected, not to HD cable service, but a set of rabbit ears... omg, he is such a different one...), kissed him goodnight, and told him to wake me when he came to bed.

I had commented to him earlier in the evening that I'm not sure what he is going to do when we are at a point where he sees me daily as it will be so different from how things have been throughout our relationship to this point. I told him he will need to work three jobs in order for things to seem "normal." He laughed.

Tom came from California for a visit with Amanda and the kids. They spent a few days in Pennsylvania with family and attended a family reunion. Amanda was finally able to meet some relatively normal members of the family. Amanda has also determined that her parents are never allowed to be together in the same room - ever. We, her parental units, determined that as her dad only makes it here for a visit every three to five years, she will simply have to deal with it.

Amanda and Tom had gone out to shoot pool one night and managed to be home an hour before last call. OMG, he's getting OLD!! That never would have been the case, even 10 years ago! I had been watching the kiddos while they were out, and had just carried Gabe up to bed at 1:30am right before they got home. We were sitting around the living room talking and Amanda was seriously nodding on the love seat. Her dad told her to just go ahead and go up to bed as we would be OK without her. I reminded her that "after all, we are your parents." He laughed and she looked annoyed.

Al stopped in for a couple of brief visits while Tom was here. Olli also met her dad (having met Al the week before her dad's arrival in town). So, Olli was straight as to which dad he could and could not mention certain details. Always a major consideration when dealing with my two exes/her two dads.

YES!!! The phone call finally came!! FULLTIME EMPLOYMENT HAS APPEARED ON THE SCENE!!

The money isn't the greatest, but it's for a pediatric practice affiliated with Mt. Carmel Health Systems. Ergo, excellent benefits. One of the physicians has an integrated practice and does lots of special needs kiddos. And, I do really believe in the philosophy of Mt. Carmel - providing service to the under-served and disadvantaged. My health insurance will be about $28 a month and the 401K is available for enrollment immediately and matched fully to 3% and at half to 5%.

The best part about the position is how God worked it out. Especially as I hadn't even applied for this job!! Or even applied at this office.

I had emailed a resume for an office coordinator/nursing position at another practice affiliated with Mt. Carmel. How my resume came to be in the hands of this particular physician/office manager, I have no clue.

I went for an interview late one afternoon last week. The weather was miserably hot and humid - heat index near 100, with the actual temperature itself above 90 - and my daughter's van has no working air conditioning. So, what to wear for this interview was quickly becoming a dilemma. Being that I'm very much a "what you see is what you get" person, it was even more of a challenge.
I opted for a long, sleeveless rayon dress in a dark blue print. It was nice enough to look good, still me, and weather-survivable.

On being ushered into the back office, the physician greeted me first. She stated that she had not intended to even be present for my interview as she had a previous commitment, but when she had seen me in the waiting room, she KNEW that she simply had to meet me.

As it turns out, her previous commitiment was the charity medical clinic that is organized and run by one of the larger, nondenominational churches in the area. The large nondenomination church that is right up the road, pretty much, from the large nondenominational church with which I am affiliated. So, it turns out that we're on the same page on the important things.

You just have to love how God chooses to do things.

His way. His timing. His purposes.

I will be primarily this physician's nurse, though there is another physician in the office - with a completely different type of practice (again, another more on that later), and they are looking to add a fulltime nurse practitioner to the practice. The offer had already been made to the nurse practitioner, but there was no word yet (as of my interview day) on whether or not she had decided to accept the offer. So, exactly what my job description/duties will be is subject to change depending on how the office practice may be restructured, but I'm flexible. And, new challenges and changes are always fun.

Still, too funny about how God decides to do things.

Even funnier, I had no idea that I would be receiving this phone call a couple of hours after I logged on to begin writing this post this morning.

I'll have to call the y-chromosome person and let him know. He's at work, so I'll make it after all of the administrative "powers that be" have left grounds for the day... which should be around 3:30 as it's Friday. Was planning on calling him later today anyway to suggest that he pick me up tomorrow after work and drop me back home Sunday morning on his way back to work. As he won't stay here because he's worried that the German Shepherd dog would bark at him.

Oh, he is so going to love the male Jack Russell Terrier that I gift to him. I am greatly anticipating the 5-pound dog standing in the middle of the bed barking and growling and telling him "my mommy!" I am also anticipating the dog vs the expensive leather living room furniture (if only in my dreams!! ~evil laugh and wicked grin~).

It's time to get moving on some lunch for the kiddos.

More later....

Sagas of Domestic Bliss, Tales of Angst, Hard Work Builds Character, and Other Woes of Life in the Wasteland

The pilot has activated the "No Smoking" and "Fasten Seatbelts" signs. Please extinguish all smoking materials, fasten your seatbelts, and return your tray tables to their upright and locked position. Thank you.

And, thank you for indulging that gratuitous flash-back moment.

Spring has finally arrived in the greater central Ohio region. Along with it, the blossoming of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in my front yard. It has sent me running for routine and supplemental allergy medications and breathing aids. In the vernacular, it would be known as a cherry tree. In my world, it is a blessing and a curse, thus the allusion.

The fresh cherries plucked feet from the front porch come July are wonderful things. The blossoms in early spring are one of the things in this life to which I am most allergic. Last spring brought a late frost which caused most of the blossoms to fall. The few cherries last summer were left as food for the birds. The respite from the blossoms was a blessing, but the sight of those few elusive fruits on the tree was disheartening. Last week, the tree erupted into full bloom and I was well into an episode of bronchitis by Saturday. There was a potential for a frost as well last week, and some of the less densely packed urban areas did show frost. The moral quandary of the seasonal destiny of that tree was at hand...

The reality of the life-span of both blossoms and ripe cherries was pondered. In the end, though in great physical distress, I decided that I would rather have cherries to share with neighbors, birds, grandchildren, and anonymous passersby... I'm such a putz.

Routine vehicle maintenance was the order of the day for yesterday. The ensuing problems were more than to be expected and proved to be more than merely frustrating and expensive. The day ended with me exhausted and a migraine screaming in my head when I finally collapsed into bed at 8:30 last night.

I picked up my phone, meaning to leave a voice mail for that man who puts up with me. He answered instead. Knowing he was still at work, I mumbled something about just having gotten to bed and to call me when he got off. He complied about 30 minutes later, waking me from the sleep of the dead. I rambled some incoherent things in apology for being about to cancel our time together last night. "So you're not coming then?" "No. I'm really sorry."

There was a bit more rambling in there on my part, but I cannot remember how much or what was said. It bothered me greatly to be too exhausted and too ill to spend time with him. Our time together is too rare these days. It bothered me so much that at some point I dreamed that he told me he no longer loved me and was breaking up with me in order to be with one of the nurses and one of the staff. I cannot remember who the staff was, but the nurse is engaged to an pregnant by her long-time and long-intended future husband. It also distressed me to the point that I remember in my dream trying to strangle the other women. I also attempted to dispose of them in other unremembered ways. I cannot remember what I attempted to inflict upon him. At some point, a past residence, now completely remodeled and with several additions as to be chateau-like appeared in that or some other completely unremembered dream.

I phoned him this morning to apologize coherently and told him of the dream brought about my exhausted and distressed state of being.

~~~~ unfinished but posted anyway~~~~

... and two become one...

A relation between hell and heaven: your couple may be a real challenge for you two to make it last. With determination and courage, you can make your relation a joy and a very significant source of evolution for both and remain together for long years. You have very different natures and the adaptation to your partner must be considered before acting and unwillingly hurting the sensitivity of your partner. Think "mobility", "flexibility", "mutual comprehension" and you will in most cases win the challenge of your beautiful love story.


I had to post that little blurb "just because"...

If you peruse this page, you will have long ago noted that my astrological birth chart is posted. As an experiment, I emailed that man who is referred to as significant other/better half/jackass/him who sorely vexes my soul to have him send me the time and the location of his birth. Himbeinghim, ignored the email. Mebeingme, plugged the data as best I could into the program anyway.

The above statement of compatibility is what resulted from that little experiment.

I don't put much stock in horoscopes and astrology, so to speak. At least not as it is practiced by charlatans and is misunderstood by the masses. There was a time when the stars and the planets and the signs they conveyed were recognized and understood.

It was an interesting experiment. The result is accurate. Proves nothing but was fun to do and to read the results. Just to see...

... my so-called life, a vignette

My guy is a funny one.

Intelligent. Handsome. Humorous. Direct. Dedicated.

He was studying when I arrived last night around 11:15. He went back to studying after a quick tumble between the sheets, and I had wrapped myself up in the comforter to sleep. He grabbed another comforter, climbed into bed, checked to make sure I wasn't cold. He did offer to turn on the heat if I was.

His apartment building is quite poorly insulated and the heat from the surrounding units does manage to keep the apartment fairly well heated through ambient means. When he returned from Europe, I commented about leaving the heat on in the apartment while he was away. (For all of his good points, there is deficit in attention to ancillary and incidental detail at times.) He had not left the heat on. I suppose there is something to be said for that third floor apartment in the winter.

I offered to go out and pick him up something to eat. He said that asking me to do so would be evil.

I told you he is a funny one.

His plan was to sleep for a bit and get back up and study more. This morning, I asked him if he had gotten back up. He hadn't but said he was wide awake at 3am and could not sleep. I suppose he would have gone back to his books had I not been there. The lamp on the desk at the bedside would have awakened me. I am certain that is the unsaid reason for not going back to his books.

Next time, I'll take along some knitting. Provided the stitch pattern isn't too complicated, it should be easily accomplished during 3am study sessions.

I have been delegated to obtain a copy of Hustle and Flow (the entire DVD collection having been forgotten in the hotel room in Germany - ADAD - Attention Deficit Ancillary Detail, lol) and a CD from an artist from Zimbabwe that he was listening to on the plane on the return flight.

He is a funny one.

We talked politics and the indifferent attitude of most Americans to the political process and the implications and ramifications thereof. Always a good way to start the day - politics. Better than sex any morning of the week... Have I mentioned that he's a funny one?

I was supposed to go and see him Monday night. I fell asleep and never made it. He said I was deliberately avoiding him for wanting sex. I told him that was mean and while not the case Monday, I was upset at him for calling me on Sunday and wanting to stop by and see me for an hour on his way home for sex. I reiterated, I am not a "booty call." "Ah, we have been together for too long for that now. We are well past that." The brief dissertation of Africans being event rather than time oriented ensued. It is the event that matters, not the time involved. "How long is sex?" "Ah, see. Then one hour is more than enough time." Some of those cultural differences and differences in perception remain shadowy areas to me.

He is a funny one.

And has been put on notice that we will be working on the modification of some of his regimens once school is over. I am not sure how seriously he took my statement to that effect. We shall see in another 10 months or so.

He is a funny one.
But he is mine.
And I am his.

One For Friday

It has been a long couple of days so far, and I really should be headed to bed. The night shift looms.

Picked the guy up at the airport last night, and we got to sleep not long after midnight. I headed for home before 6am and phoned to wake him for work at 8am.

So, I wonder what new rumors and or variations he is hearing today? I don't really care. It doesn't bother me, but he is upset by it all. At Christmas, I asked Chris if she remembered him from when she worked there. She didn't. As she commented when I told her I was dating one of the staff, "Oh, I know the grapevine just loves that, fucking Peyton Place."

Last night, I told him that I want a divorce. As this quarter of school is looking as bad as the last, I feel justified. "Ah, you know how I am when I am in my books." I repeated that I wanted a divorce. He continued to ignore me.

I so hate AOL. Benazir Bhutto was assassinated yesterday; it was not on the scrolling front page clicks or even listed in a Top Stories link. However, the fact that Paris Hilton is being essentially disinherited by her grandfather giving 97% of his fortune to charity was right up there along with Mother Of The Year Britney Spears and her knocked-up teenage sister. Oh, and knocked-up Jessica Alba is now engaged to her baby daddy. And, Mischa Barton's mug shot from a DUI arrest made the front page. I have not clicked over to Yahoo yet, but I'm not holding much hope for content of a much higher caliber.

Being me, I had to pop on over to Yahoo and take a peak. I will give them credit, they had valid content on their front page. **NOTE TO SELF : Change home-page on Mike and Amanda's laptop.**

The guy and I were just settling in to sleep last night. After I had asked for my divorce and we were talking about my boss wanting to use some of his pharmacology books this quarter. My phone rang. It was Brian. I answered the phone with, "Were your ears burning?" No. He had called to tell me that one of our patients had just died within the last hour. I told Hindolo that Carl had died. "When?" "Just a little bit ago. Brian was calling to let me know. That's just something the nurses do." I'm just calling Jane now to make sure that someone has phoned Carol. Someone forgot to phone me once, and it was a great shock to come back to work a few days later, be in the middle of report and ask about someone to be told that they had died earlier in the week. So, Carol was always the person who would make sure I got a call if I happened to be off. I want to make sure Carol gets a call as she is on vacation this week.

Carl was one of the people that I really hadn't expected to still be there when I came back to work last year, but I was really glad to see that he was. He was sans both legs above the knee when I returned, and he was by no means as sharp as he had been when I worked there previously, but he was still Carl. He was not without his moments of clarity and even managed to grab my ass one day when I was wearing the insidious hoochie-momma low-rise jeans. LOL That was Carl.

I am off to bed. I'll have some thoughts on some relevant things with the next entry. That's the plan, anyway.

The Official 2007 Christmas Letter

TO: Friends, Family, Extraterrestrial Intelligent Entities, Charismatic Evangelicals, Devotees of Anime, Double-espresso Drinkers, Knitters for Political and Social Change

RE: All the news from my reality that isn't

Salutations and such -

As I am sitting here with the non-Maoist Cultural Revolution Gang of Five and taking a break from finishing the last three-and-a-half inches of the turtleneck on my Christmas sweater, I pause to reflect on events of questionable relevance from the last year.

I missed, without regret, much of the celluloid schlock and all of the banal television broadcasts of the preceding 12 months.

I spent way too much time at work and way too much time with my grand kids. A myriad of advantages and disadvantages to both scenarios.

2007 was the year of disarray. If it was possible to be messed up, it was. If it was possible for it to be broken, it happened. Procrastination was the order of the day. Money went faster than it came.

Social blogging networks were the new prevailing distraction this year. I finally got around to doing a bit of something with my MySpace and Multiply pages. I still post to del.icio.us on occasion. Stumble Upon just didn't do it for me. I have yet to peruse Digg. (I feel I need to leave something for the new year.) I think I'm also on Facebook and Tagged. I gave up my memberships for the Pogo game site and don't miss it at all after it having been an internet staple for nearly 6 years. I gave up a couple of internet forums and joined a few more. Other than a couple of friends, I have completely disassociated myself with all people and things relating to The Way International.

I reconnected with some old friends and acquired some new friends. There are still a couple of friends that I need to reconnect with. And, I really need to quit being such a lazy ass and find a couple of people from years gone by.

The last time we were all together as a family was at my dad's funeral. Today we will be all together with my mom's new boyfriend.

I have met my soul mate, and he makes me crazy to the very depths of my soul.

My daughters are my daughters. In some ways consistency is good; in other ways it serves merely to make me wish I lived further away.

The summary of all that is that isn't is complete.

Wishing you a cool yule & a great 2008!

Sunday Night & Headed to Bed

The day started off with temperatures in the mid-50s and steady rain. It quickly became very windy and quite cold with the occasional snow-fluffy seen streaking by.

It made for a long day at work. After working the Friday overnight on only 2 hours of sleep followed by watching the gang o' five until 4pm yesterday while the kids shopped, I was pretty well burnt-out come 7pm tonight.

Still no hi/bye/thinking of you/fuck off/miss you/couldn't care less if you died from Hindolo. And Joni says I should email him a Christmas card anyway. Yeah. I'll get right on that.

I need to head to bed. I'm watching the kidniks tomorrow. That should be fun. I balked at the prospect of shopping tonight in the cold and was simply too exhausted to do it yesterday when relieved of the children. So, I will be headed to the fabric store with 5 children in tow on Christmas Eve day. Oh, what a blog that will make.

Monday Evening

I am supposed to be finishing the last of the chainette fringe on this scarf. I will get back to it shortly. I didn't make it out to finish my shopping today. I was simply too fatigued.

It is now about four hours later. I have been working on the scarf. I had a nice chat with Genny. Our conversations are always fun. We talk about so many different things. Tonight was mainly about her work, her clients - current and former, and some of the obstacles they face with referrals to and help (or lack of help) from other agencies and problems with public transportation. I was appalled by some of the problems and issues with the public transportation system.

We talked for a bit about the guy. How I feel that I'm just "something you have." Much in the same way that you have a house or you have a car. I think much of it is cultural. Arranged marriages are still very normal in Sierra Leone. A wife is something that you have.

He appreciates me for my intellect and my sense of humor. He does genuinely care for me. However, everything else and everyone else comes before me because I'm just "something you have."

That hurts.

Break time is over. Back to work on this scarf. I think this is going to be the last thing I do gratis. I will make things for gifts, certainly, but these side projects simply take too much time away from what I need to be doing. I'll be back when I finish this scarf. It will be finished tonight.

It is nearly 1am. The scarf is done!

Next project, finish seaming and stitch on the collar for my teal chenille (There, I said it again.) Christmas sweater.

Brian phoned me earlier tonight. When I told him that I was shopping on line, he asked if I was buying yarn. LOL Not buying, but getting my order ready for the yarn to make my sweaters for myself for next year. I made three this year. I hope to get in five for 2008. Two tank tops, a t-shirt, a fancy little pullover, and a bulky cardigan. The first three listed will work up quickly. The cardigan should as well. It's that little pullover that will take the time. I picked yellow for it, but I'm not so sure about it now. Maybe a coral or a peach. All the rest are to be worked from multicolor yarns.

After we had finished speaking of my yarn addiction and the fact that I still have not finished and delivered his pillows and window treatments, we did talk about work. Well, one aspect of work.

I was bad and played the "I will call the state" card. And, I will, too.

Nurses are required to distribute cigarettes to some of the residents. It creates more problems than you can imagine. The rationale for this is that the staff cannot be trusted to do it. The staff in another apartment manage to distribute cigarettes to their two ladies without difficulty. Brian agrees with us (several of the other nurses and myself) that it is not the function of the nurse to give out cigarettes. Our Health Care Coordinator argues that the staff cannot be trusted to do it.

This is the same staff that they will have passing medications to the residents once we go over to the I/O Waiver program. The staff can be trusted to give medications but are not competent enough to distribute cigarettes?

Brian said he would talk to Barb tomorrow and reiterated several times not to call the state. I told him that all I know is that I had better not have to be handing out cigarettes at 6am Saturday morning. We will be done with this shit once and for all, and we will be done with it tomorrow.

The reason that my BS threshold was surpassed on this issue was because Sunday evening, I had to stop in the middle of my 5pm medication pass (The second heaviest pass of the day. Only morning is heavier, and it is split between two shifts.) and deal with why someone was out of cigarettes. As I told the supervisor, there is someone here 5 days a week, 8 hours a day whose responsibility it is to make sure that this resident's cigarettes are purchased, and I am NOT that person. The final straw was when the supervisor (who is the supervisor of this individual who is supposed to be purchasing the cigarettes) said he would revise the sign out form so that nursing would have to notify the person whose job it is to be on top of this when we distributed the last pack. NO MORE!!

I was over to my office and on the phone to Brian so quick it would have made your head spin. Every time he has talked with me since, I have been in an absolute livid tizzy about it. Enough is fucking enough!!

If they refuse to fix it, I am certain the state will find a way to remedy the situation. A call to the state means a re-survey. An unannounced re-survey. Much easier to fix the cigarette distribution problem than to go through another week with the survey team in the house.

Here is a bit of insight into the staff that will soon be passing medications to people who, for the most part, have no idea what it is they are taking.

On Sunday, the nurse was called to one of the apartments. On arrival, the question was asked, could the nurse please check out this resident as they were worried about his kidneys. In explaining their concerns to the nurse, they stated that his pants were so tight that it had taken three of them to get his pants on him and zipped up. They were worried that if his pants were too tight, it might bruise his kidneys.

When I got to work Sunday morning and was told this story by the two nurses who had already lived it and were still laughing about it, all I could do was sit there for a minute. Finally, I said, "OK, I have to say this. Can you please remind me again who the retarded people are?" Fits of hysterical laughter ensued from them.

This is who my company intends upon having give medications to the clients.

That is way beyond scary. I don't think that is even in the same time zone as scary.

Oh, it would be so nice to hit the lottery right about now! LMAO Of course, I would actually have to remember to buy a ticket for the lottery for that to happen.

It's 2am, and there are short people who need to see me bright and early.

Ciao