It Just Figures...

The weather has continued to be miserably humid though not quite as hot these last few days.



The job offers are flooding in. One thing about my industry... it takes forever sometimes to get a job. I was to have an appointment this morning with an agency to do home health for pediatrics. A tumble down my daughter's back steps last evening (Calling myself doing her a favor and taking out the trash.) has left me very stiff and sore and aching. Fortunately, no major injuries... a skinned knee, a jammed finger are about the extent of the acute problems. A sore back, sore arms, aching hips and a drastic decrease in ease of mobility (and that nice dull, throbbing ache with just sitting) are the order of the day.



I rescheduled the appointment to do the paperwork for the home health agency until tomorrow. Seems they have lots of peds that I can do on the weekends! Gotta love it! LOL



I haven't shown any signs of bruising from the fall (yet). And, I'm supposing that when they do show up...



There's no nice way to put this... I'm scheduling my appointment Monday, as soon as I find out which practitioners are covered on my new insurance plan...



I think I have cancer. Possibly a lymphoma... non-Hodgkins... Haven't had any of the fevers, or localized lymphadenopathy (swelling and tenderness of the lymph nodes) that are typical with Hodgkins.



I have two bruises on my right, outer lower leg that have remained relatively unfaded and hard for more than a month now. I had an extreme bout of itching (that's putting it VERY MILDLY... OK, I was about to overdose on Benadryl it was so bad for about 5 or 6 days) in May that I attributed to an allergic reaction to the St. Johns Wort/Griffonia Seed compound that I was trying for an holistic alternative to commerical pharmaceutical antidepressant therapy. When I showed no hives, I then assumed it to be some type of vasculitis related to the autoimmune disorder with the rheumatoid. I have had a congested cough for three? four? weeks now that I attributed mainly to my allergies and the bad air quality... Should have thought about it sooner, though... non-productive, moist cough. And, when I was on the telemetry unit Memorial Day weekend, before I had my cardiac cath, there were abnormalities with my iron studies and some minor things with my blood count.



It wasn't until I became concerned with this nonhealing bruising within the last week or so that I began to put all of the symptomology together.



Oh yeah... I had a couple of glasses of red wine over the weekend and got some pain in the regions of various lymph node clusters... another indicator.



And, then there's the fatigue, which I just chalk up to the RA.



I've had a lot of capillary fragility due to the years of steroid therapy, so bruising doesn't really set off an altert with me. However, unknown (all of my bruising tends to be of relatively unknown origin) bruising that remains this long...



I told Amanda last night that I think I may have cancer. Just told her there's no nice way to put this.... so.... Told her about the bruising, the itching, the cough, the blood abnormalities.... What it all added up as a possible cause....



I really hope I'm wrong. Cancer would be such a pain in my ass. Just one of those things in life that anyone can best do without.



We have the Arthur G. James Cancer Hospital and Richard J. Solove Research Institute (sounds so very, very impressive) here. However, me being me, I'll probably go the Mt. Carmel/Trinity Health route. LMAO Not only do I work for them...



I really wanted to work for them for a reason... I love the philosophy. "Mount Carmel and Trinity Helath were established on a foundation of faith-based principles: Respect, Social Justice, Compassion, Care of the Poor and Underserved, and Excellence. These principles and the Mission serve as a compass to guide our ongoing health care ministry." That mission statement is posted in all Mt. Carmel facilities. On the front cover of the booklet that outlines our organizational integrity program is "But as for me, I will walk in my integrity. PSALM 26:11."



Unfortunately, I don't/can't do the hospital thing any more, and the turn-over rate in the offices are very low. So.... and, as we know, God somehow managed to work out a job for me in an office that I neither applied for or applied to... still makes me LMAO!!

So, I think I'm going to start where I believe...

That's how my week is shaping-up so far. I'm pondering some things, cultivating peace... Funny how your perspective begins to shift and reshape your priorities and the things that seem "important."