I really should be sleeping. I thought my medication was well on its way to making me drowsy, but that was not to be the case.
Here it is past 1:30am, and I am still wide awake.
It has been very cool during the nights. Down into the 40s and lower 50s. Nice for sleeping well, but it has the house a bit too cold for my liking. I'm not ready to submit and turn on the furnace. I have opted to break out the ceramic space heater.
I have the cat in my lap as I type this. She is not insistent on grooming me. No one is clean enough for Miss Piggy. She will even groom the dog. Heaven forbid if you attempt to pick up this cat. Touching her with your unwashed self will merit an intense grooming. It would seem that I spoke too soon. She has found fault with the condition of my left forearm and is seeking to remedy my uncleanliness. Weird damn cat!
I am sort of liking this contingent work schedule. I go in for a few hours but don't have the responsibilities and the headaches of all of the paperwork and reports and meetings. I cannot, however, live on what money I'm being paid. Finding something in the next couple of weeks is imperative. Even if it ends up being admin work through the temp service until I find something suitable. I'm not too proud to take a clerk job or something of that nature. You do what you have to do in order to pay the bills. I am not too keen at all about going back to waiting tables, but a hostess position would even do in the interim.
I'm seeming to do better with the Celexa at 40mg. I do feel more together, anyway. I suppose that is the first step. I'm seemingly not having all of the anxiety that I was having, but I'm still not managing to get as much done as I would like to be getting done. My thoughts are more together, though. I'm feeling like my "old self." That is a good thing because I really need to get back to work on my textile stuff. Christmas is nearly upon us, and I am seriously behind in seasonal merchandise. All merchandise, really. You can sell almost anything during the holiday season.
Before I start thinking too much about that subject, I think I'm going to close this here and try the bed. If I start thinking about everything that I should be doing/should have already had done, there will be no sleep for me until near dawn.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Things are things… just about to get ready to get ready for work. LOL Only in my world is there preparation for preparation…
In any case, the week has gone pretty well.
My grandchildren seem to have survived in spite of their death wish of last evening. I heard running and rolling in the upstairs hall and laughter and shouts. After about 90 minutes of that, I heard my daughter yell from downstairs about the lights being on.
I spent the other night with the guy. He remains adamant that I WILL NOT be helping him move. Decorating his new place does remain in my domain, and he has informed me that will more than likely be a full-time job in itself. LOL
We talked about the “R-word” the other night. You know the one I mean.
Relationship.
It was a good conversation. I am glad that we are both honest, know ourselves well, and understand and respect each other’s perspectives, goals, and interests. OK, well… He is still lost (and will probably always remain so) when it comes to that right-brained, artsy part of my soul.
School is the priority for him. For the next 15 months. He feels he doesn’t have time to invest in a relationship and is leery about having a relationship since the last one required 24/7 attention and maintenance and still fell apart anyway. From my perspective, school is his priority, and I have been single for so long, that I am used to having my space and my time being my own. I don’t want 24/7 attention and could not bring myself to be at someone else’s beck and call 24/7 at this point. I need time to adjust to being involved with someone.
Sounds like we’re on the same page. That’s a good thing.
As we haven’t seen each other for a couple of weeks, I was straightforward (As if you could imagine me EVER being straightforward. LMAO) enough to ask if it was me or the sex that he had missed. He could only give me a slightly uncomfortable laugh and smile. I told him he was a noncommittal diplomat, at which he did laugh. I then informed him that as he was not a citizen, he could not plead “The Fifth Amendment” as he was not covered under our constitutional protection. He burst into laughter and hugged me. “Hey, I call you,” was his response.
He sleeps like I do. On the edge of the bed, facing outward. No encroachment allowed. We had been talking for quite a while before we went to sleep, and I found that I had made my way over to be right next to him. I promised him that I would go away if he kissed me. LOL He volunteered some half-hearted peck, and I demanded a real kiss before retreating to my side of the bed. “Yes, I know, it’s time for sleep,” I said and added that once he was out of school in 15 months, we would be working on changing some of his routines. He laughed.
I like that I can make him laugh.
I also like the fact that I remain a quandary to him in some areas.
I like the fact that we can disagree yet respect each other’s opinions and points of view.
I like that I simply enjoy being in his presence.
I like that he has depth of soul, character, compassion, and intellect.
I like that he has that sublime yet incisive sense of humor.
I like the fact that, though we are very different in personality, we seem to harmonize well.
I like the fact that we are friends.
Back in from work…
The day went by pretty quickly. I escaped from working my usual assignment, and for that I was thankful. I really needed a break from those manipulative and lying women in one of my buildings. OMG! The two main pains in the ass are enough to piss off the pope most days. However, working another building meant that I didn’t get to see the guy. Which happened to be pretty OK by me. The “regulars” (aka the extraneous women who always seem to be hanging around in that particular apartment) were in full-on hang out mode today. I’m not the jealous type, but I surely wasn’t in the mood to deal with Helen being all over him today. That’s pretty much an all the time thing with her, so it generally doesn’t bother me. But, the weather has recently been cool and damp so I’m in a lot of pain, and I just started my period. I would have ended up in a pretty nasty state of mind for most of the evening had I been assigned there so it is just as well that I was somewhere else today. I’m hoping that I get to work elsewhere again tomorrow, too. As my PITAs were not given sufficient attention from the nurse today, they will be doubly “on” for tomorrow. Lovely.
My boss was in for a while doing some paperwork. I haven’t gotten to hang out with him for a while now; it was good to see him. He was still there when I left right before 10pm. He said he had about another hour or so to work.
I will probably end up going in a bit early and also staying a bit late tomorrow in order to get some things done for audits and in preparation for our Medicaid survey. Yes, it’s that time once again!
I am hoping things go well with getting this job at the VA. That would be a wonderful position. It’s a specialty practice that I really enjoy and have the experience to do well. It also has enough paperwork to keep me mainly behind a desk, which is where I need to be.
Jonathan is supposed to go to the sitter’s Monday. I suppose
we shall see how that works out. He was supposed to go two days last week that I ended up not sending him because he was just in a mood. His mother not being home has finally become reality in his little world. We had all sorts of behaviors this last week. Crying and tantrums. One day he refused to get out of his superhero pajamas or to eat lunch. I left him in his PJs and gave him peanut butter crackers, trail mix, and carrots to snack on. It isn’t worth the power struggle if it can be avoided. He acted up at the school on Friday and made us late in getting to Trinity’s medical appointment. Fortunately, we were not so late that we had to reschedule. Then, he performed quite nicely for the benefit of the pediatrician as well. Thankfully, she was very understanding when I explained that my daughter had just returned to fulltime work three weeks ago after being home for five years. Two days last week, he didn’t want me to leave after his dad arrived home from work. He came up with all manner of excuses as to why I could not leave. Yes, indeed, we were very “two” last week.
I'm not sure what is up with the font changing styles in mid-blog, but I can't seem to get it fixed. Guess it will have to stay "as is."
Monday, September 24, 2007
My Guy was Kissing my Friend!
I worked for four hours Sunday. As I was starting the car and getting ready to leave the house, my phone rang. I figured it was my boss wanting to know where I was. He had wanted me in a bit early. The sinus congestion and chest cold thing were not cooperative with his agenda.
It was actually the guy. He wanted to know when I was coming to work. I told him I was just pulling out from the house. He was calling because he had a patient on an outing and the pump for the tube feeding was dead. omg! I love my staff! I'm the one they always seem to call... whether I'm there or not... LOL
Joni was at work when I got there. She told me she had the funniest thing to tell me. I was just about to get started doing some actual work (as the Sunday afternoon concert was finally over) so we headed out for a quick smoke.
She told me that she hadn't been feeling well Saturday due to an upset stomach and had told one of the staff to give her a kiss to make her feel better. He had blown her a kiss from across the room. So, she then turned to my boyfriend and told him to give her a kiss to make her feel better. He kissed her on the cheek. Now, she knows he's my boyfriend. He doesn't know that she knows.
After he kissed her on the cheek, she told me that one of the other staff commented that she didn't feel well because she probably was pregnant. She directed my boyfriend to tell the other staff member why it was impossible for her to be pregnant.
His response, "She don't like da-ting, man."
omg! Joni, Judi, Hannah, and I rolled!
I could just hear him saying that...
So, my guy kissed my lesbian friend...
He has asked me about her. If she has ever had boyfriends, etc. He's never asked if there has ever been anything between her and me, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the thoughts of a three-some were partial motivation for some of his questioning. From some things she said about him, before she found out he was my boyfriend, and when I told her about his questions, she probably wouldn't nix the idea. Let me say that at her birthday party, my boyfriend was the guy that both the women and the men wanted.
He's young AND sexy. Go me!! LOL
And he is so very sweet and considerate and thoughtful.
I'm going to apply for a cardiology position at the VA Clinic. I love cardiology and have the experience to do the job well. Coworkers and friends have been very encouraging towards this position of the three or four that I found this week that I had some interest in.
The industrial nursing position at the steel mill. Not a bad work schedule or work requirement but some of the potential for mangling and injury that I could possibly encounter. Oh, not pretty. There was a full-time second-shift hospice position at the hospital that's right out my back door. You know, I love hospice, but I just don't know that I could do it full-time, week in and week out. It's hard. Very rewarding, but very hard. There's a part-time and contingent second-shift position at one of the assisted living complexes. Not a bad gig. There was also a home health position that didn't sound too bad.
So, that's the job search round-up for the week.
The VA position is good because it's cardiology, and bad & good because it's the VA. I'm just not the blind-obedience, don't make waves sort of person that the VA would really embrace. I took an oath to always act in the best interest of my patients...
Thus my motto.... Rule By Subterfuge!
LMAO
The guy was more than a little miffed about my change to contingent status when I ran-down all the details and factors that led to my change from part-time (with benefits) to contingent (without benefits or increase in pay). He has cast his vote in favor of the VA position as being the one I should give top preference. He has gone so far as to suggest that I just leave altogether and not even bother to continue contingent employment after getting all the info. As he said, he realizes how much my patients mean to me, but I need to consider myself and my health first. And, with why and how things were done, he feels that I have been shown grave disloyalty and should have no regrets in saying goodbye and moving on to other things, irrespective of how I may feel toward the people I serve.
Being that he has worked for this very same company for over three years now and has seen exactly how things are done, he has some very valid points to present in making the recommendations regarding continued employment that he has made. He has only been there as long as he has due to the fact that his weekend work schedule allows him full-time pay and the opportunity to attend school full-time during the week. He is not the only one for whom that statement is reality. I would say that would be the scenario for well over half of the weekend employees, both staff and nursing.
I should get ready to head to bed.
Things to do tomorrow!
It was actually the guy. He wanted to know when I was coming to work. I told him I was just pulling out from the house. He was calling because he had a patient on an outing and the pump for the tube feeding was dead. omg! I love my staff! I'm the one they always seem to call... whether I'm there or not... LOL
Joni was at work when I got there. She told me she had the funniest thing to tell me. I was just about to get started doing some actual work (as the Sunday afternoon concert was finally over) so we headed out for a quick smoke.
She told me that she hadn't been feeling well Saturday due to an upset stomach and had told one of the staff to give her a kiss to make her feel better. He had blown her a kiss from across the room. So, she then turned to my boyfriend and told him to give her a kiss to make her feel better. He kissed her on the cheek. Now, she knows he's my boyfriend. He doesn't know that she knows.
After he kissed her on the cheek, she told me that one of the other staff commented that she didn't feel well because she probably was pregnant. She directed my boyfriend to tell the other staff member why it was impossible for her to be pregnant.
His response, "She don't like da-ting, man."
omg! Joni, Judi, Hannah, and I rolled!
I could just hear him saying that...
So, my guy kissed my lesbian friend...
He has asked me about her. If she has ever had boyfriends, etc. He's never asked if there has ever been anything between her and me, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the thoughts of a three-some were partial motivation for some of his questioning. From some things she said about him, before she found out he was my boyfriend, and when I told her about his questions, she probably wouldn't nix the idea. Let me say that at her birthday party, my boyfriend was the guy that both the women and the men wanted.
He's young AND sexy. Go me!! LOL
And he is so very sweet and considerate and thoughtful.
I'm going to apply for a cardiology position at the VA Clinic. I love cardiology and have the experience to do the job well. Coworkers and friends have been very encouraging towards this position of the three or four that I found this week that I had some interest in.
The industrial nursing position at the steel mill. Not a bad work schedule or work requirement but some of the potential for mangling and injury that I could possibly encounter. Oh, not pretty. There was a full-time second-shift hospice position at the hospital that's right out my back door. You know, I love hospice, but I just don't know that I could do it full-time, week in and week out. It's hard. Very rewarding, but very hard. There's a part-time and contingent second-shift position at one of the assisted living complexes. Not a bad gig. There was also a home health position that didn't sound too bad.
So, that's the job search round-up for the week.
The VA position is good because it's cardiology, and bad & good because it's the VA. I'm just not the blind-obedience, don't make waves sort of person that the VA would really embrace. I took an oath to always act in the best interest of my patients...
Thus my motto.... Rule By Subterfuge!
LMAO
The guy was more than a little miffed about my change to contingent status when I ran-down all the details and factors that led to my change from part-time (with benefits) to contingent (without benefits or increase in pay). He has cast his vote in favor of the VA position as being the one I should give top preference. He has gone so far as to suggest that I just leave altogether and not even bother to continue contingent employment after getting all the info. As he said, he realizes how much my patients mean to me, but I need to consider myself and my health first. And, with why and how things were done, he feels that I have been shown grave disloyalty and should have no regrets in saying goodbye and moving on to other things, irrespective of how I may feel toward the people I serve.
Being that he has worked for this very same company for over three years now and has seen exactly how things are done, he has some very valid points to present in making the recommendations regarding continued employment that he has made. He has only been there as long as he has due to the fact that his weekend work schedule allows him full-time pay and the opportunity to attend school full-time during the week. He is not the only one for whom that statement is reality. I would say that would be the scenario for well over half of the weekend employees, both staff and nursing.
I should get ready to head to bed.
Things to do tomorrow!
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